Not goodbye, but see ya later

On Thursday we got to spend time with Q,A, baby E, and grand parents. We had a nice chat. Richie, the girls and I got to snuggle Baby E. We said our see ya later. And of course there were a lot of tears. This family will always be special to us. The hope is to remain in contact.

Our Birth Story

We were  scheduled for an induction on Sunday (7/2/17) and we were to arrive at the hospital at 6pm. Rich and I got settled in and Q&A along with Q's parents arrived shortly after. The plan was to start cytotec since my cervix was still closed. Around 720pm the nurse came in and checked my cervix which was still closed and she placed the cytotec next to my cervix. Yet again the cervix was still closed, high, and thick.

We were all able to sit and visit then Q&A and grandma and grandpa went to their hotel. Rich left to let our dog out. While everyone was gone I started to have regular contractions every 3 minutes or so. (I was not expecting contractions this quickly). Contractions were in my lower back and tail bone. I was due to have a second dose of medication at 1130, but because of the contractions I was unable to get that dose until contractions slowed down. At 130am the nurse came in and placed Cervidil. Contractions increased in strength and I became very uncomfortable. At 240am I asked for pain medication (Fentanyl). I got a little relief. Rich got up and was AMAZING!!! I got another dose of Pain medication and was able to get on the birthing ball. That helped my back pain. At 430 I got up to use the restroom and my water broke. I didn't want to get off the ball until I could have more medication. So at 5am I got a dose of pain medication and the nurse checked my cervix... This was the most painful thing EVER. But was I at 2cm. I asked for the epidural! We notified Q&A as to what had taken place and they decided to get ready and head over.

At 620 I got my epidural and it was amazing. The parents and grandparents arrived and I was much more comfortable. Dr Growney came in the room around 8 and I was still 3cm and baby was facing up. At this point I was irritated because I felt like I should have been further along. My nurse put a ball between my legs and said it helped to turn the baby. I decided to try to get some rest. Everyone went down to get breakfast and I tossed and turned for a while. Rich came up and my nurse came in the room and checked me. She said I was still a 3cm but baby had turned. Over an hour or so span I felt awful and my nurse kept checking. She said I was 4cm, I kept saying I didn't fell well, she checked again and I was at 5cm.

At 935am I was a good 5cm. I was talking to Rich and  the Grandma and Grandpa (mom and dad went to register baby down stairs) I was talking to them and about 20 minutes later I asked the nurse to come in because something felt different. She check me and told me "don't push, we are going to have a baby" I was 9.5cm and baby was right there. We called the parents and told them to come up now!!. They called Dr Growney. I was doing my best to not push, but my body was pushing. Dr Growney got to the room. Everyone was in place and it was go time! A few pushes later and she was out.
Baby "Edie" was 4lb 3oz and 17inches.

Baby "E" was placed on my belly and "A" got to cut her cord. Baby was crying and looked great, but was small. They took her to the warmer and she got a thumbs up. She was able to do skin to skin with her mommy in our room. I was still in bed and waiting for the placenta to deliver. After 15 minutes Dr Growney told me I had 15 more minutes before he got it out himself. And of course this is what happen. The placenta didn't want to detach so Dr had to manually do it. I lost a lot of blood. around 1000ml. I almost passed out between the blood loss and the pain. It is estimated I lost around 1/3rd of my blood volume.

Once all was good grandma and grandpa came in the room. Baby was still in there and doing great. I have to say everyone involved was AMAZING. Rich was the best support anyone could ask for. Q&A and his parents were so supportive and great. My Dr, nursing staff and everyone involved was the better than anyone could ask for.

Our girls met baby "E" Tuesday and spent some time with them. I was discharged home and am doing well besides feeling sore and tired

I have had several calls, texts, messages to check on me. I know everyone is worried how I will be since there is no baby to take care of. And I'm doing great right now. I know hormones are yet to come. but Seeing them with their baby is worth everything I've been through.

We will get to spend time with them tomorrow before they go home.

She's coming out

SHE IS HERE

4lbs 3oz 17inches

I think he knows me!!!

To The Ince Girls

Ince girls,

Hi girls, my name is Karen Roeb, and I have had the pleasure of getting to know your
mom over the last year. Your mom has asked me to write to you to talk about her surrogacy journey from my point of view, and I could not be more honored. As I write this letter, your mom is about a week away from giving birth to her surrogate baby.

First, let me tell you a little bit about myself, and the role I play in your mom’s life. For twenty years of my life, I was a nurse in the field of Obstetrics, Gynecology and Infertility. Every day, I had the privilege and honor of watching parents’ dreams come true. I had the chance to witness thousands of births,
I had the honor of sitting alongside thousands of parents as they heard their child’s heartbeat for the first time, and I had the privilege of sharing the most intimate moments with these parents. Throughout my time as a nurse, I also witnessed some not so happy days. I was in the room as women were told they would not be able to have children. I performed ultrasounds on women, only to not hear a heartbeat. Through my experiences, I realized that I wanted to create a place where parents, who could not have children on their own, could come to make
their dreams become a reality. This is when I opened Fertility Miracles—a third party
reproductive agency. As a mother, I could not imagine my life without my children. My children are the greatest gifts of my life, and I know your mother feels the same way, and your mother decided to give that gift to someone else.

When your mom told you she was going to become a surrogate, it may have been the
first time you have heard that word. You may have been very confused as to why-or how-  your mom was going to carry someone else’s baby. The medical field has made wonderful advancements.

The decision to carry a child for someone else is one of the most selfless decisions a woman can make. When your mom decided to become a surrogate, she decided to
give the most precious gift—the gift of life. Your mom also agreed to potential morning
sickness, back pain, feeling generally uncomfortable, and taking time off of work.

I think the very decision to become a surrogate shows a woman’s true character—and that is a woman made up of compassion, love, selflessness and the desire to give back. Your mom chose to work with a couple that was unable to conceive on their own. Your mom chose to make their dreams, become their reality, and I hope you know how special that is.

Your mom’s journey has not been the easiest, or most comfortable. You may have
noticed a difference in your own life, as your mom was put on bed rest. This may have been some what shocking for you, and your everyday life. I want to thank you for being patient, and understanding of the process. By allowing your mom to rest, you, also, have contributed to giving the greatest gift.

Your mom’s spirit has never changed; despite being put on bed rest. Your moms zest for life has not weakened. Your mom’s selflessness is as evident as ever. Every day, woman such as your mother inspires me, and I hope you are too. Women like your mother make this world a better, brighter place, and I am lucky to know her.

If you ever have any questions about the surrogacy process, I would be happy to talk.

All my best,

Karen Roeb

Slight change in plans....

Had my last appointment today! :)
All looked well. Insa w a different Dr since mine is out of town. She checked my cervix and the damn thing is still high and closed. So rather then go in Monday morning, I get Togo in Sunday night to help get the cervix going. Hopefully this is not the never ending induction.

It's The Final Countdown!!!

Yesterday was my last appointment with MFM in Springs. Baby did grow some. She now is an estimated 4lbs 2oz.

It is so nice knowing I don't have to drive to Springs every Tuesday. For the past 13 weeks I have had to make the trip for weekly ultrasounds. 

In the last 13 weeks I have had:

13 ultrasounds in Springs

10 ultrasounds in Pueblo

12 NST's in Pueblo

11 appointments with Dr Growney

Saw MFM Dr's a handful of times 

It is so crazy to think tomorrow is my last appointment before Baby "E" comes. Hopefully it is an uneventful appointment and next few days. Induction is still set for July 3rd at 38w2d.

My girls still don't understand what is going on. But they do come up and pat my belly and say "mommy you are eating too much, you need to exercise". Every now and again they say there is a baby in there.

36w3d (I think)

1. 
   

Monitoring continues in the final stretch

This week of course I drove to Springs on Tuesday for the Doppler. Everything looked perfect and normal.

Thursday I had to go to the hospital for my BPP since Dr. Growney is office was booked. Of course they were running behind comma so I sat around forever. Luckily the baby was fully cooperative this week and passed with flying colors. Went across the street to my doctor's appointment, was hooked up to the NST and again she passed that quickly. Met with Dr. Growney and discussed the induction on the 3rd. Everything is still set comma he did check my cervix and it is still closed :-(

Baby just needs to stay put until next week when Dr. Growney is back in town. But I wouldn't mind if the cervix would make progress before the induction so it isn't the world's longest labor.

Some exciting news is we learned the baby's name this week. So it has been nice to not call her "Baby" or "Fetus"

Q&A plan on coming to town around the 1st, along with his parents.

Hello contractions!

On Monday night we picked up the girls from daycare and we're going to take them to go eat dinner. I felt perfectly fine and a few minutes into the drive noticed some lower belly cramping that radiated up into a tightening belly. I didn't think anything of it but did make note that this felt different than the Braxton Hicks contractions I have been feeling I continue driving and a few minutes later got the same feeling. Again just ignored it not thinking anything of it, and a few minutes later the same thing. At that time I took note of the clock period 3 to 4 minutes later this feeling came back again, and three to four minutes after that again, and again, and again period I told rich I thought I was having contractions but I didn't know for sure since I have never really felt contractions period we went into the restaurant ordered our food and I was continuing to have contractions. I told rich I was going to go lay in the car with the air conditioner on and I continue to monitor. After an hour they were still there with me drinking a lot of water and resting. I called Labor and Delivery and they told me if it continued to head on in. We got home and I took a nice warm bath and they continued.

I notified Q&A as to what was going on. I got to labor and delivery and they hooked me up to the monitor. 15 minutes later the nurse came in and said she wasn't seeing anything, I told her I was still having that feeling and she readjusted the monitor. About 20 minutes later she came in and said she was seeing some activity that was coming and going. I let her know that the same feeling was happening, but it wasn't as frequent. At that point she checked my cervix and it was closed. I stayed on the monitor while she discussed with the doctor. Since I was supposed to get steroids this week anyway the doctor decided to go ahead and do the first dose that night. The nurse came in gave me the shot told me she would watch me for 15 minutes and send me home. During that 15 minutes I was laying there and again started noticing the cramping and tightening coming and going every 3 to 4 minutes. The nurse came in and asked how I was feeling, and I told her that I was having what I thought we're contractions again. She said in the last 10 minutes she had recorded 3 contractions every 3 to 4 minutes. She said they would continue to monitor and assess after that. The doctor was in a C-section at that time so the nurse was going to wait until she finished. The nurse came in several times to check on me comma and said the monitor wasn't picking anything up but I assured her that I was continuing to have contractions. She continued to adjust the Monitor and was picking up bits and pieces of the contractions. Once she discussed with the doctor what was going on the nurse came back in and rechecked my cervix and it remained closed, which is a great thing. A few minutes later the nurse came in and said they were going to give me a shot of terbutaline to try and stop the contractions. All I can say is Holy Smokes that was not a pleasant shot. After the shot naturally I got really jittery, experience they come from where contractions and then they stopped. Once they had stopped I was able to come home.
It was definitely an eventful evening, I was in labor and delivery for almost 5 hours. It definitely open my eyes at this baby can come at any time period I was taken aback that the contractions started out of nowhere and we're so close together. From now I guess I will take it more easy and keep my fingers and legs crossed that this baby will make it until July 3rd so that her parents will be here for the delivery.

It's a date!

Yesterday baby did good at the appointments. And the induction date was set! JULY 3rd is the day!!!

It will be nice to have baby and give her back to her parents! And see the joy it brings them. This will make all the sacrifices my family has had over the last several months worth it, when we see Q&A with their healthy baby girl.

It will also be nice to get back to normal life!

My family has sacrificed so much! Rich has picked up all the slack around the house. My girls haven't gotten to go out and do all the things we usually do (zoo,park, swimming, ect) since I've been on modified bedrest. I haven't worked in weeks, and miss it most days. I miss my friends, and my adult interaction.

I know some people have their opinions as to why we did this, but in reality no amount of money can replace the sacrifices that me, my children, and husband have had to endure. Even with the induction being scheduled, that means my girls will miss out on the things we would normally do for the 4th of July. the Pueblo West Water parade with their parents, fireworks with their mommy, and a fun day at the lake with their parents.

Hopefully baby stays put, and blood pressure behaves. And it is a quick and easy delivery!

34 week growth scan

Today was the growth scan. Baby is still growing at her own pace. She is up to 3lbs9oz. (One pound bigger than 3 weeks ago) she is still measuring <2nd percentile. She is constantly moving. She has been passing her BPP and NST weekly. Today mFM said we should be able to deliver at 38 weeks rather than 37 weeks (which his great tonhear since my Dr will be on vacation that week). I will still need to get steroids next week just in case the dopplers decide to change. So for right now the plan is to be induced the first week of July, unless this baby decides to come before that on her own. It is crazy to believe how fast this pregnancy has gone, and that we will soon see this baby's face in person versus black and white on the screen.

Ultrasounds galor

With 2 ultrasounds a week we sure do get to see this baby A lot. She sure does look like she has big lips and chubby cheeks! Here are some pictures

31weeks 3days growth

Again I continue to have twice a week appointments.  The past couple Tuesdays the Doppler have been good, but still show high blood flow resistance.  It is still much better with me not working so I'm still stuck out of work until she gets here.

Every Thursday I continue to have ultrasounds (BPP) which she passes with flying colors, NST, and visit with Dr Growney. Last week after the appointment I got home and started go habe lower belly cramping that would come and go and my belly would get hard. I did everything you should including take a nap and it continued. After talking to a friend who is an L&D nurse she told me to go make sure I wasn't feeling contractions. I went to the hospital and they checked my cervix which is still closed :) had a couple contractions upon arriving but they stopped quickly after. And haven't had any issues since.

GROWTH SCAN

Today I had my growth scan. Baby is still growing at her own pace (SLOW) but never the less she is growing. She currently weighs 2lbs 13oz (1264grams). And remains on her own curve. She is about 2 weeks behind still. The MFM Dr remains confident that we can keep her in the oven until 37 weeks.

I got to have a nice long conversation with Q&A today. They were happy to know she is growing. We talked about things we wanted during the birth ("A" will get baby after she is out for skin to skin assuming she is healthy", I will cuddle her once she is nice and clean, "Q" said he would be in waiting room, but I quickly corrected him and informed him there was no way in hell he wasn't going to be in the room for his daughter's birth) we all seem to be on the same page. Tomorrow I register at the hospital (it's getting real how close it is). Because Colorado is so surrogate friendly Q&A' s name will go on all the babies records and my name won't show.  We have a PBO (pre birth order stating they are the legal parents). I already talked to the director of L&D  and she is aware. Things are coming together for the final stages. I can't believe how fast this pregnancy has been. Considering I applied to be a surrogate almost 2 YEARS ago.

A huge thank you to Richie, his parents, my mom, and Sister, along with those friends who check on me and take care of me and the kids

Some awesome pictures of the Baby Girl

What do you tell a 3 year old?

Had a growth scan yesterday... baby is still growing at her own rate. She is measuring almost 2 weeks small but is following her own curve.  She now weighs around 2lb 1oz. Dr did say we will deliver between 34-37 weeks, but is hopeful we will make it to 37 weeks.
I met with Dr Growney today for my regular appointment. That went well. Uterus is measuring same a baby 26 weeks, I'm 28 right now. I've already gained 11lbs since the start of pregnancy. I feel great, but starting to get tired again.  Baby moves all the time. From here on out I will be busy with appointmets. Every Tuesday I go to Springs for a Doppler with high risk Dr. And starting next Thursday I will go to my Dr for BPP scans (watches babies breathing, movement, fluid levels, ect) along with an NST (watches heartbeat for 20 min) followed with a quick visit from the Dr.

Lately Averi has been talking about "a baby in mommies tummy coming soon".usually we just ignore her. We haven't told the girls anything so not sure where this came from. She is very smart for her age. So we told her tonight that mommy has a baby in her tummy that is a special present for our special friends Q&A. We continued to tell her that not all mommies tummies work and some are broken.  So her mommy (Me) has a baby in her tummy to give to Q&A since A' s tummy is broken. Not sure how much she grasped and understood. We don't plan on talking about it unless they ask more.

Bed rest update

I'm still in bed rest. But the good news is it is working. Today I had a follow-up Doppler to look at blood flow to baby. The ultrasound tech actually called another tech in to repeat the scan just to double ckeck. They both agreed that the blood flow had improved a good amount. They talked to the DR and she was happy with the change.
Next week I have another ultrasound to check the size of the baby and a doppler. I will have weekly blood flow studies, and this week I start NST on Thursdays.  So 2 days a week are spent at Dr offices.

Today I also got an awesome care package from my best friend to keep my entertained for the next few weeks.

It is crazy to think this baby will be here in less than 10 weeks.

Fetal Echo/Growth scan

Well where do I start....

The good: The baby's heart looks wonderful, no abnormalities were detected. Heart rate was normal range and chugging along perfect. Baby is moving around like crazy. Fluid level is wonderful. Cervix is still nice and long.

The not so good:  The baby is measuring small still. I am currently 25 weeks 4 days, and she is measuring 24 weeks. This puts her around the 3rd-4th percentile on the growth chart. They consider anything under 10% restricted. Right now she weighs around 1lb 7oz.

The why: After a close look at the baby, the umbilical cord, and the placenta...  It was determined that there is decreased blood flow through one of the vessels in the cord. The cord does have 3 vessels (normal) but one of the vessels going to the baby isn't flowing as good as it should be. The placenta still looks healthy and has good blood flow, the baby looks good (other then size), and the cord is the one causing the trouble.

The now what: Well this is the part that is going to be tough..... I am now on modified bed rest (again). And am out of work until this baby is born. It is thought that if I decrease my activity, it will help the blood flow to the baby. (this means no more walking 10+ miles 3 days a week at work) I will be spending a lot of time laying around watching tv, maybe I will learn a new skill. So if you want to send me some goodies, or crafts go right ahead ;)

The game plan: The Dr is shooting to deliver her between 35-37 weeks. This will only be the case if she continues to grow.  If she slows her growing down anymore it was brought up that I could be put on hospital bed rest. I am staying very positive and know we will get to at least 35 weeks. Eventually they will probably give steroids to help baby's lungs. I will now be getting weekly ultrasounds on Tuesdays. This may increase this as time goes on.

We were able to talk to Q&A via phone at the appointment and they got to ask questions.  I was also able to have a great conversation with each of them after the appointment. I think we are all on the same page, they feel so bad that I'm having to be on bed rest. But we all know it is what is best for this little girl. Rich and I knew when we signed up for this adventure there would be curve balls, and knew this was a thing that could come up, but didn't think it would happen. We will take everything one step at a time. Rich has been awesome, and understands he will have to do even more with kids and around the house. But we all have the same goal and will do what ever it takes to get a happy healthy baby here.

Thank you again to those of you who have been so positive and supportive!

20 week ultrasound

Today was a great day!
Last night Q&A (the parents) arrived in Pueblo and we got to spend some time with them. They were able to meet the girls and we were able to discuss everything baby. They are a little more reserved and were excited to see they baby in person via ultrasound. They brought some beautiful flowers.

This morning we went to Dr Growney's office and had the regular appointment.  He was awesome and really involved Q&A. He had them feel the fundus (top of uterus)  and also made them use the doppler to find her heartbeat. I'm pretty sure Q even got to feel her move. 

After the appointment we all went to breakfast and enjoyed a casual conversation. It is so amazing how easy the conversation flows.

After breakfast we went to Memorial to meet with MFM for the ultrasound. We were able to get a great view of the baby after a long time of trying.  The baby thought it would be great to turn her face toward my back. Everything with the baby looked perfecta, she is measuring a little small but the Dr did not seem worried. We will have a follow up ultrasound with MFM in 4 weeks. This will include a fetal echo and growth scan. (Apparently IVF babies are at higher risk for heart defects.)

We are truly blessed to have so much love and support during this adventure!!!

19 weeks.... almost

Tomorrow I will be 19nweeks. There hasn't been much to update. I'm starting to get a little belly. Food aversion as decreased and I actually like eating again. I have had a few cravings but nothing crazy. I also have been feeling the baby move around a lot more.

I'm so thankful for all the support I've gotten  (from most people). My coworkers and family have been amazing. People are always asking questions, asking how I feel, and touching my belly (even though there isn't much there). Next week we will have the anatomy scan in Springs. Q&A are planning on flying in for my appointment with Dr Growney and then following up to Springs for the ultrasound.  I can't believe we are almost half way there.

KIDNEY LIKE A CHAMP.

I'm 16 weeks 4 days. Had appointment with Dr Growney. It went well. Babys had heart rate of 150. My vitals were good. My weight hasn't changed. I haven't gained any yet. I did wake up yesterday with a bump.

Last week I went to kidney Dr and learned my loan kidney is at 100%! It has never been close to this since I had it taken out.

We will have an ultrasound in a month with Maternal Fetal Medicine.  Q&A are hoping to come for that appointment

Reunited and it feels so...... exhausting

Well after weeks of being off work I finally got to go back.  Man oh man I forgot how busy that place is! The past 3 days were so busy, and non stop. But at the same time I am thankful to work with such amazing people in a job that I really do love.
Now that the cat is out of the bag on social media it was awesome how many co-workers,  and friends were so supportive.

Today the weather was beautiful this morning. The girls and I decided to take the morning and play since I've been laid up. We went to the park, the library,   and to lunch. Then we all came home and took a much needed nap.

NT scan

Today went for a NT scan. Basically to check for down syndrome even though the embryo was tested, Dr Winkler wanted it.

I'm finally done with dr Winkler's office, and only have to deal with Dr. Growney.
We got some awesome pictures of the little one.